Dear Friends,
A 60 Minutes segment in 1979 opened with Dan Rather delivering this line: "Wellness. Now there's a word you don't hear every day." He went on to describe wellness as a fringe self-care movement that was viewed by many people as a cult.
That was 45 years ago. It's hard to fathom how much things have changed in our lifetimes, with self-care products and services flying at us from every direction. You want to lose weight? You want to exercise more, sleep better and improve your emotional well-being? No problem; help is everywhere! I learned when I googled "self-care" that there is an International Self-Care Foundation and a Global Self-Care Federation.
As an aside, I'll add that although self-care hasn't always been a fad, the concept has ancient origins. Socrates included "care of the soul" and "know thyself" in his teachings. He believed in a "chain of care", whereby in practicing self-care you would encourage others around you to do the same, and society as a whole would benefit from it.
So here's my question: If the concept of self-care has been around for so long, why does prioritizing our mental and physical well-being still seem so difficult, especially for women? And why does taking care of ourselves make us feel so GUILTY?
It seems clear that women our age have been conditioned to believe that taking care of others comes first, and we can think about ourselves only if there is a little bit of time left. Since there are always so many people we feel we need to take care of, we run out of time for ourselves. Making pit stops in exercise classes, salad bars and therapy sessions certainly can't hurt, but are stand-alone fixes strong enough medicine to address the core reasons for our stress and anxiety?
I don't know the answer, but I'd like to find out. Kimberly (Mulcahy) Zadeh and I asked six TTN women to tell us how they practice self-care. You'll see their responses below. I learned some things from them, and I hope you will too. They reminded me that taking care of ourselves, even in little ways, can slowly transform our quality of life. Experts say that the health effect can go deeper if we align self-care choices with our personal values and beliefs.
Here's a final question for today: In a growing community of women like the one we are part of, does practicing self-care need to be a solo pursuit? Did Socrates have a point with his "chain of care" idea? Peer groups and SIGs are designed to enable us to nurture ourselves and others at the same time, but what else can we do? I'm planning to hold some brainstorming sessions to see what we can come up with. If you would like to be part of these discussions, please send me an email and I'll put you on my invitation list.
In the meantime, I hope you will make an effort to connect with other TTN women any time you can. And when you're on your own, please be kind to yourself! Cheer yourself on, and schedule time for things that bring you joy. By allowing yourself to be the center of your universe, even for a few hours a day, you are more likely to develop the strength with which to quiet that inner critic, no matter how bossy and opinionated she tends to be.
With affection and respect,
Darla Hastings
Executive Director